And Still the Bird Sang

Today has been a rough one. Emotionally, about a million things seem to have compounded at once. Physically, my pain has increased after a period of gradual recovery leading to emotional consequences that far outweigh the physical- feelings of fear, uncertainty, and frustration. The day had been one that had knocked me to my knees, crying out to God. But the day was not over and I then received news that will dramatically change my life, threatening even the vaguest sense of security I have now.

My day had turn into the darkest of nights.
As I’ve struggled through this night, pushing through the intense pain that evening ushers in on even my best day and wounded from the day’s assaults, sleep has come sporadically.

And then there was the bird.

This bird and I have a bit of a history. Being morning person, I love the sound of birds chirping to usher in the new day. I am also aware that this chirping begins usually around five in the morning. This bird, however, sings very loudly in the deep of the night, waking me on more than one occasion. On this night, when my soul feels heavy and my body reeling, sleep seems so inviting, offering a small but sweet taste of relief. This bird’s primary objective, it seemed to me, was to keep me from finding that temporary comfort.
In desperation, I pondered the thousands of ways I could…silence the bird. When I regained some sanity and reconciled that doing such a thing might be a bit over the top, or at the very least impractical, I then deliriously begged God to shut the bird up.

And still the bird sang.

Only now the bird was not the loudest voice in the night.
When morning comes, with newness and mercy that only it can bring, praise comes easy. My heart sings when midnight’s tears are dried and hope seems tangible once more. When praise is offered in the times I deem it deserved, the praise is no less well received.

When praise is offered in the times I am waiting for deliverance, I dare say, God is glorified more. Not only because this praise is trust-assurance in the sovereignty of the King of Kings. Not only because this praise is gladness simply in the grace of God-attesting that this is more than enough and more than I deserve. And not only because it shows where my hope is found-a testimony to the sufficiency of God. No, it is not only for these reasons, though they would be enough.

When I sing in the darkest of night, my heart becomes more like His. In praising Him when even the faintest light is far on the horizon, I am purging myself and ushering Him in. No longer do I rest in my own abilities, my own providence, any sense of self-pity or perceived goodness. Instead my God is God and I, the humble recipient of His grace. It’s in these moments when I am assured that He is the prize, not any earthly gain or security. Just to be in His presence, let alone be called His own, is worthy of songs of the loudest praise.

There is but one reason I can sing in the darkest of nights, and that is because my greatest triumph, and history’s greatest victory, was won on the very darkest night. Christ hung on the cross that night, beaten and unjustly convicted by the ones He would go to no ends to pursue, bleeding and bruised, mocked and seemingly abandoned. He drew His last breath and all hope was lost that night. The heavens wept, the earth moaned in anguish. And yet, victory was assuredly on His way. He knew, but they did not and I cannot imagine a night any darker than that one.

After a few more unbearable nights, the stone was rolled away and behold the suffering was not in vain! Christ was prophetically and triumphantly risen! A glorious day ushered in after an unimaginably mournful night.

I sing now the praises of my Victor in the depth of both my metaphorical and literal night, taking a cue from the bird that wasn’t aware night isn’t the time for songs. I will praise loudly and without restraint, because while deliverance from that which weighs my heart tonight may come tomorrow or years from now, I know that my greatest deliverance will come as I meet my Savior face to face. On that day, the praise and joy will be unstoppable and untiring and the hope I have for that day warrants equal response here in my darkest of nights.